Mostly Harmless
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st-just:

akaaallttyynn:

dressed-in-rain:

st-just:

Tonight in ‘reddit headines that made me laugh’

I like in the comments some people are like “well, obviously people are getting body mods and who wouldn’t choose to make themselves hot?” and it’s like.

Folks.

If we’re living in the cyberpunk dystopia and I’m getting myself modded up I’m not going to go for “sexy kewpie doll.” I’m going to have myself turned into like, a 7-foot tall monstrosity with Doc Ock arms and laser eyes.  Look, I don’t care if some extra bulk has to be added around my midsection to support the infrastructure, I could give a shit about my waist-to-hip ratio, I just want to be able to scale walls, snatch helicopters out of the sky and throw them at Jeff Bezos.

cyberpunk future where society is divided between supermodel/anime esque exaggerations of the idealised human form, and inhuman utilitarian agglomerations of cables and lights and technology. 

ah yes the two genders, ‘kpop star’ and ‘tank’

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jam-etc:

…I want to just draw a fashion zine of just Miss Piggy, oh my god. she is so underrated and underutilized, where is my succession-like muppets satire thing LOL I want it so bad. let me do it disney call me pls

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I’m assuming this is a troll, but just to be clear the American right:

  • stormed the US Capitol last year in an event where 5 people died
  • violently and illegally attacked nearly 7,000 abortion clinics from 1977-2014, and
  • have killed 112 people in terrorist attacks since 9/11 (left-wing have terrorists killed one, and black separatists have killed 12).

Even in last year’s BLM protests, which were the largest protests in US history, 9 of the 11 people killed were pro-BLM protestors, while only 2 were pro-Trump conservatives.

The US right-wing has been substantially more violent than the US left-wing for basically all of American history, with the possible exception of the late 1960′s to early 1970′s. 

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evilkitten3:brain-depositary:brain-depositary:brain-depositary:evilkitten3:brain-depositary:unfried-m...

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evilkitten3:

brain-depositary:

brain-depositary:

brain-depositary:

evilkitten3:

brain-depositary:

unfried-mouth-wheat:

unfried-mouth-wheat:

evilkitten3:

now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into

“I’ve met the most peculiar man today. He was far taller in height than I have ever witnessed before. His face gave off a general sense of ugliness, though I cant quite place why considering he seems to be quite handsome when not in animation. A multitude of scars seemed to cover his body, perhaps from a terrible accident and the subsistent surgeries. I’ve noticed that he always looks close to crying. When i asked his name, he replied, in length, that he had none. How queer! As he seemed fairly harmless, and rather in need, I invited him to accompany me on my passage to Count Dracula. He looked bewildered, but accepted. I know not whether he shall continue to accompany me when I return to Mina, but I’m quite certain she would never reject hospitality to so miserable a man!”

Also consider:

My dearest Margaret, so odd a stranger has joined my ship! I know nothing of him other than he seems to be some sort of European, like Victor, though not the same. He introduced himself as Count Dracula, and spoke with utmost clarity and mastery of the english language. Victor looked upon him in a rather fragile state and cried out.

“Is one demon not enough for my so miserable life? Must another specter haunt my every waking hour, even now as I am so wretched? Oh, save me Walton, save me! The devil comes near, and he dost wish to smother all hope of respite and tranquility!”

Saying such, he leaped from where he was seated on the deck, and promptly fainted. I apologized for my friend’s behavior and brought Victor back to my cabin.

Sincerely, your confused brother, Robert. W

You know, considering Victor’s extensive experience with dismembering dead bodies and reanimating and the fact that his problem for his entire book was that he didn’t think anyone would believe him, I do sincerely think that Frankenstein would catch onto Dracula’s deal at once and immediately make it everyone else’s problem.

victor accidentally fucking up dracula while jonathan accidentally un-fucks up the creature? sign me the hell up!

All these posts declaring that Victor would only be able to cry and faint at Dracula seem to forget that his first meeting with his creature started with him hurling insults and trying to fistfight the 8 ft tall supernatural brick shithouse of muscle while having the constitution of a consumptive heroine so like while this absolutely wouldn’t bode well for his long term survival in Dracula’s castle you’ve gotta admit it would be way funnier.

Essentially the creature would find the one guy who’s too polite to say anything about his appearance while Dracula to his horror would have met the one man in the world who’s even more of a fucking nightmare to deal with than him.

Frankenstein, eyes bloodshot and probably on totally normal Victorian amounts of cocaine: “Hey buddy count I found all these fresh cadavers in your basement —“

Dracula: “Vait how did you find my cadavers”

Frankenstein: “Look, I need them for reasons and you just had them laying around and were obviously not using them and they’re peasants right? So —“

Dracula: “Vhat do you possibly need cadavers for?”

Frankenstein: “I already told you, REASONS! Anyway I can’t help but notice all of them are totally drained of blood and I need the blood.”

Dracula: “how are you getting them out of the ground so quickly, you’re like a hundred pounds soaking vet —“

Frankenstein: “THE BLOOD, Dracula. I need the BLOOD. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLOOD. TELL ME, DRAC.”

Later:

Frankenstein: *long winded flowery speech about how Count Dracula is a fiendish devil and vile abomination etc for what he’s done to the corpses*

Dracula: My brother in Christ YOU’RE the one robbing MY graveyard!!!

Frankenstein: *suckerpunches him*

you’re the only person on this post i trust. please never stop i love you

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chipper-smol:a cute but disastrous old habit between a dragon and her foster knight

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chipper-smol:

a cute but disastrous old habit between a dragon and her foster knight

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